I woke up this morning (sounds like a blues song) an hour before the light. Whole day free to do some writing. Cup of coffee, on the bed with my pad, making notes on the structure of my Meetup event that I'm holding in 2 weeks. The idea then was to get onto my blog and write a post. Finally opened the blinds and saw what a beautiful, perfect autumn day it was outside. New impulse to go for a walk in the park - I've got all day to get online.
So, shoes and jacket on and out the door. I decided I was going to do an "awareness exercise" - this involves clearing the mind from all personal thoughts and just observing my surroundings, letting the impressions come and go. I developed this a while back to see if I could develop my attention, with the purpose of influencing my dreaming to become lucid (it worked!). I took a notebook with me so I could note down anything that particularly caught my attention - and the purpose I set was to feel, or be aware of, my connection to my surroundings (including people), from the perspective of being multidimensional... seeing everything as a part of myself and vice-versa. Following are some of the observations I noted: 1) Passed a guy by the canal (not even 1 minute from my house yet) walking his dog. I tried to make eye contact but he ignored me and walked past with his eyes averted. I do this too often myself and I wondered what makes us so inaccessible to strangers. One could feel a negative response to being "snubbed", and go on thinking about how unfriendly people can be (myself included). Instead of letting myself be affected by this, or just ignoring it, I decided to send him a little greeting from the heart and wished him a good day. Silently, but with the same good intention as if it had been aloud. After all, I thought, we are still connected at some level. 2) Noticed many more dog-walkers and thought about how precious and beautiful the role of dogs is in this human world. Not only do they provide companionship and unconditional love to their owners, they also facilitate meetings between strangers... dog-walkers nearly always make contact and conversation with other dog-walkers. You could almost imagine dogs were created for this role. 3) Almost by the park, I was preceded by an old lady who was shuffling slowly along the sidewalk, as if she was searching for cigarette-ends in the gutters. There are a lot of these type of characters in Amsterdam and I admit they make me feel uncomfortable. But why? I don't even know what she was doing, I was just making an assumption about her that could easily be totally false. Even so, why would it make me uncomfortable? She was obviously harmless. It reminded me of an old guy on the train a few months ago - talking to himself in a full carriage - everyone felt uncomfortable, everyone pretended he wasn't there, no-one asked him who he was talking to or about. I decided this morning to make a point of asking the next time I come across such a person. 4) So early in the park and already so many people jogging. And I thought: "So many ME'S being very active this morning... therefore no need for "this" me to join them. 5) One "me" passed by walking strangely and fast, instead of jogging, and snorting loudly with every exhale as he walked. I wondered, is this part of his training technique, and if so, how absurd does it have to get in order to get fit? 6) I'd just stopped to write in my notebook and a woman pulled up to ask directions to cafe De Roos (situated in the park). Of course I could tell her exactly because it's one of my favorite cafe's. But I wondered what impulse caused her to stop and ask me, among all the other people around. Is it a question of resonance? 7) A fleeting moment... I could "taste" the autumn. Though not exactly taste. But there is a sense at a certain point in the season that you recognize clearly and you say - autumn has arrived (or spring, summer, winter...). What is this "sense" - a combination of sights and sounds and temperature and scent and colours and light, all mixed up with impressions drawn from memories of other perfect autumn days? Time stops in these moments and you get that full experience of there being no time or space except an eternal now. 8) I stopped by the Theehuis cafe and drank a coffee on the terras - watched the people pass by, watched the dogs scrounging the tables for left-over biscuits or gifts from generous guests. Everyone seemed to be absorbed in conversation or activity. I wondered how many were actually just quietly taking it all in - the trees, the birds, this beauty, this sunlight, this "Autumnal perfectness"... A dog came and sat by me - I'm sure he just wanted my biscuit. When I ate it, he left. Another dog came by and just took the sugar-cube from my saucer without even a glance at me. I sent him a silent greeting from the heart and wished him a good day.
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