I play music with a friend every Tuesday evening - been doing this for years now. He considers me to have "talent", while he says he has to work hard at it - not being a talent himself. Sometimes he gets together with other people to play and says then that it's a matter of "exercising the right of non-talented musicians to still play music".
I understand this because I know a lot of people who would love to play music but don't think they're allowed to because they can't play well - as if they need permission or approval from someone else to do what they feel like doing, for fear of being judged. What WOULD people think of them? This is one of those peculiar human traits we carry in us that cause us to censure ourselves continually, denying ourselves great pleasures and discoveries because of some contitioned sense of shame that we might offend the feelings of others. And by judging others in the same way, we suppress their freedom in being themselves too. What a mess! Who thought this one up? This all came to mind this morning while I browsed Facebook. An ex-colleague of mine from a school where I used to work has "come out"... admitted she is a "secret writer", and let it be known to all her friends that she publishes a blog. And I know how she feels - I went through the same feelings as she when I first started writing online ( a few years ago now)... don't tell anyone you know, I mean... what WILL they think of me? Why do we feel it as a "coming out"? Why should we have to "come out" of anything? - especially among our friends where you should feel comfortable to be who you are without their judgement. And why do we even care to judge even our friends about anything they want to do? We have to stop judging people like this. We have to stop caring what other people think of us. We have to learn to BE who WE want to be, and DO what WE want to do. Because if we can't even do this within our community of friends and aquaintances then we've all got a long way to go before we learn to accept and respect the sovereignity and freedom of the rest of mankind to be and do as they wish. By the way, I also write on a blog, I play music, I meditate, I'm into spirituality, I believe in aliens... and I smoke. There, I said it, it's out, and I dont care what you think!
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Around two years ago I started an experiment and began practising two "distinct" aspects of my essence as multidimensional spirit - They are:
1) Following my heart 2) Not worrying Through that continual intense practise I have come to trust completely in a higher force that is looking out for me, steering me to where I need to go, and supplying the things I need and desire on the way. It took me two years because I needed to experience this enough times in order to move beyond any doubt; though I still practise awarely on a daily basis because the habits of old life-long programming are stubborn beasts. Let me explain further: 1) Following my heart. I came to call this the Heart Path. People often say that you should follow your passion in order to live a free and authentic life. I've always had a problem with this because I never could say what my passion really was. Interests came and went, rose and fell like the swells of the ocean. Every next interest became "it!" Until the next thing came along. Passions can change with the wind, so I say "follow your impulse" - whatever your heart makes you feel you FEEL like doing and wherever it leads you to go. Doing this teaches you to listen better to your heart, to distinguish its message and guidance from the impulses of the ego-mind, and it teaches you to trust in the guidance you receive (if you do it with conviction and awareness). By following your heart in this way you can always be sure that you're doing what you most deeply want to do, and that it's you, not your conditioned mind, that's doing the wanting. 2) Not worrying, The only way to understand the utter futility of worrying is to consciously practise "not worrying". Worry is the name we give to a useful emotional trigger that awakens us to something that needs our attention - another "impulse". Beyond that initial impulse that got our attention the worry should be discarded - but oh how we love to cling to our worries and feed them with our fantasy - so much that they become almost prophetic. My brother had a saying; "What if you didn't worry about something, and it DID'NT happen?!" That about sums it up really - worrying in itself does not solve problems, if anything it gets in the way. But we are addicted to this emotion and it overwhelms us. The only way to overcome it is with practise - even to the point of setting yourself up with something to worry about and learning not to worry about it. Without all that disruptive negative energy in your heart and stomach that worrying manifests, there is instead peace and harmony - and in that frequency of peace and harmony problems get solved, often miraculously - and often they just de-manifest. This is something everyone should practise right at the start of any path to personal empowerment and enlightenment. Summing up, this is how I see it: Following your "heart-impulse" shows you just how free you are to live any life you want... and learning "not to worry" gives you the freedom to BE that free. |
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